Dad weekend
Oct. 12th, 2004 11:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eyelessgameSherilyn can't journal about last weekend because she wasn't home, so I will.
Okay, so it was a weekend, so not like I had to sit on them for any homework, so it wasn't *real* single-parenting like Sherilyn has to do on Wed-Thu. Still, I had a list of plans and requests from her -- after school, measure Kate and then order her Halloween costume from the online Disney store, to take advantage of Friday's one-day free-shipping offer; get both kids to their soccer games on time Saturday morning; make sure they put their soccer equipment away afterwards; make sure they get their baths Saturday night; get them to bed at a decent hour; avoid making the house a disaster area.
Thursday night before bed, I'd told Robert we were going to go out to eat most of the weekend, not because I didn't want to cook -- I do most of the cooking when I'm home -- but because I wanted us out of the house as much as possible so it didn't get wrecked: I knew it would make a big difference to her mood if she came home and couldn't find something wrong. I had big plans, much of which I was prepared to alter or jettison depending on kids' moods: soccer games Saturday morning, dinner out both Friday and Saturday, star party (I thought this was the week for it) Saturday night, Chabot Center in Oakland on Sunday. I suggested Fresh Choice for Friday dinner to Robert but allowed that I could be convinced to go somewhere else if all the kids agreed -- not having Mom around would be a bit hard, so I wanted them to get something a bit special. He whispered "Can we go to Fridays?" I said I'd check with Kate.
Sherilyn left for scrapbooking camp around 1. At 1:30 I strollered Josh and got Kate from the bus stop. I put Josh down for an early nap, then discussed dinner with Kate. I thought I asked her if Fridays would be okay and she said yes enthusiastically... but she would not recall this conversation the same way later. She mostly let me work for the rest of the afternoon.
Robert got home right after my phone meeting, and I gave him the news we'd go to Fridays. I worked a while more, then around 5 I told them to get ready to go to Fridays. Kate pitched a fit, insisting she only would go to Macaroni Grill. I had to hold to it: I'd promised Robert. She pouted, shrieked, stamped, cried, and muled... but having made the commitment I could stay firm. Finally I got her off the subject, discussing the Fridays balloons and the food she could choose. It ended okay. Robert helped, too -- once we'd reached the car (Kate still grumpy), he asked if we could go to Borders after dinner. I said we could if everyone behaved themselves. Kate, doing one of her 180-spin mood swings, announced "Borders! Yay!" and was suddenly all better, at least for a little while.
Dinner was okay, though everyone was in shorts and short sleeves and the restaurant was cold. This grumped Kate again and everyone complained. She didn't want anything from the menu, while Robert said he couldn't decide between grilled cheese and mac-and-cheese, so I ordered those two dishes for the two of them (Josh requested a plate of spaghetti, and then ate it and needed very little hosing down afterwards). Kate was a lot better once the food came, and eventually ate many fries, half the sandwich, and a few bites of the mac-and-cheese. We wound up with four balloons as we left for the car.
A woman and her son panhandled in the parking lot. I had nothing smaller than a $20 so I told her I didn't have anything I could give her. Felt bad about it afterwards; the kids had several questions about why she was panhandling, and I described my mixed feelings.
Went to Borders. Everyone was entitled to a book that I'd pay for, I announced. Josh immediately grabbed a Bob The Builder coloring+story book ("Bob the Builder! Bob the Builder! Yes we can!"), Robert showed why he really wanted to go by picking up two of the Pixie Tricks books he hadn't read and wheedling me into buying both, and Kate... well, she browsed a while, then discovered the stuffed animals. Remembering how disappointed she'd been earlier, I caved, and she got a small stuffed orange cat for an absurd price. Should have charged her from her allowance -- but she'd have agreed, and gotten much sulkier later.
Kids went to bed after many admonishments that we had twin soccer games in the morning. Robert in particular bungeed out of bed several times up till 11:00. We need to sit on him more. (I'm writing this on Tuesday, and the last two days I've been sitting upstairs while the kids settle, and Robert's gotten to sleep much earlier. I'm going to have to keep doing this.)
I basically did no housework but just pirated till, well, too late (around 1 AM). It's a lot harder to sleep in our bed when Sherilyn's not there.
Got them up, uniformed, and out the door. The Saturday games were going to be hard, since Robert had a 8:30 call for a 9-10 game on the west side of town, and Kate had a 9:40 call for a 10-11 game on the east side. Explained to Robert's assistant coach that I'd have to shuttle back and forth and I'd try to be back by the end of the game, but could he wait there with Robert if I'm not, and the coach said he lived in Granite Bay anyway, and could drop Robert off at Kate's game. I gladly accepted the offer, and explained the situation to Robert.
Evidently it rained Friday night sometime, because everything was wet, and it was still overcast all Saturday morning. I'd never been to this school before, and it was in a clearly less-nice part of town: rundown, long building sides with paint peeling, etc. Josh and Kate had fun on the school playground, though the equipment was obviously meant for 4th-6th graders: Kate climbed to the top, discovered the slide was too wet; the curved ladder too treacherous to climb down, only up; and the only other means to descend was a seven-foot pole; and started shouting for help. I held my hands above my head for her to step on so she could grab the pole, and spotted her as she slid down. (Then she wanted to do it again.)
Got Kate to her game. The previous game at that field that morning included a couple kids that were in her coed under-six team last year, and one of the moms recognized me (and was stunned by how big Josh was) but for the life of me I had no clue who she was, though her son was vaguely familiar. She'd been snack mom that week for her team, and Josh mooched a donut from her. Robert showed up at the field with his coach about 10:15.
Both kids lost their games, but neither took it particularly hard. Kate in particular gets a look of intense concentration when she plays, and soccer is doing her all kinds of good. Robert I'm still not sure is getting much out of it; little camaraderie, not much improvement in his play style, and too distracted by his own imagination to focus on what he's doing, much of the time.
Anyway. Given that it was still overcast, I suggested there probably wouldn't be a star party, and asked if they'd like to go to the Discovery Museum and planetarium for the early afternoon instead. Enthusiastic assent. Changed out of soccer uniforms, back in the car, McDonalds lunch, planetarium. The Museum has a nice display of animal and human bones, and other human innards, which would have been more compelling if we hadn't seen it on previous exhibit periods. They have some new animals, though, including a small owl. The tarantula was sitting up on top of her log, which really impressed Josh.
The planetarium show was a huge disappointment this time. The guy who normally runs it, for whatever reason, wasn't there (not today? or not ever? Need to find out) and the one who ran it was older, had a big tendency to ramble, didn't know how to operate the machine, and had eyesight problems (pointed out the north star once, then later couldn't find it). Lots of kids in the room made it quite noisy, and the program ran long due to his rambling. Didn't even bother to introduce myself to him afterwards.
Went home. It was sunny and clear by this point. Robert, though, said he didn't want to go to a star party. I told him that if it really was this weekend, he'd have to come with us, because I'd promised it to Josh (who's been asking almost daily when the next star party is -- he *really* likes them). I went and checked online after being surprised at the moon's phase on my palm (I thought it was nearly new, but it was actually only a little past last quarter), and sure enough the star party was the 16th, not that day. I told him we were off the hook.
Got home, napped Josh, did dishes and put away some laundry. Then it was time for more dinner shenanigans. Robert wanted to help pick this place. I told him that since I'd made the mistake on Friday and Kate hadn't gotten to help choose, she'd choose this one herself. Not fair to Robert, I know, but I had made a mistake and had to repair it, and I apologized to Robert for it. Mostly Robert was tired, I think -- he was just being recalcitrant. I'm glad there wasn't a star party; he needed the break.
Kate got to choose, but I privately encouraged her to pick Fresh Choice, since Robert was dead set against Macaroni Grill (even though he'd been told he didn't get to help pick this time). Fresh Choice didn't go too well, at least at the beginning: Robert got out of the car but wouldn't cross the parking lot until I threatened his Legos; then he tried to leave the restaurant moments after walking in and I had to do one of those things you always watch other people do and think "bad parent": I took his head a bit roughly in my hands and whispered fiercely about dire consequences. He whimpered a little but acquiesced. He took nothing from the salad bar, but accepted a bowl of clam chowder and a couple muffins -- I was at this point choosing my battles and not going to make a big deal over what he ate.
Everyone got in a better mood from eating their food, but they all whined in disappointment about not being allowed another trip to Borders (Robert had finished both his Pixie Tricks books already and wanted more). They had to go home for baths.
I also told them we probably weren't going to Chabot. There wasn't much reaction -- this was pretty clearly the right decision; everyone was tired.
Three baths later, they were in bed. All three zonked before 8:30. I did more dishes, cleaned some of the kitchen, and watched an episode of Buffy from DVD, then accidentally found myself pillaging for an hour and a half (a very fun time). Finally went to bed at 1 (again). Wasn't any easier to sleep without Sherilyn there.
Sunday I let them sleep in as long as they wanted -- which wasn't long -- and made pancakes for breakfast. Did dishes and cleaned some more. Then we just hung out and vegged, mostly just foraging for lunch, till Sherilyn got home in the evening. She was happy and tired after her scrapbookathon, but a bit disappointed that she hadn't brought more pictures since she'd finished everything she'd brought to do.
It must have been a fun trip. It didn't even ruin her mood for very long that I forgot to order Kate's outfit on Friday.
Okay, so it was a weekend, so not like I had to sit on them for any homework, so it wasn't *real* single-parenting like Sherilyn has to do on Wed-Thu. Still, I had a list of plans and requests from her -- after school, measure Kate and then order her Halloween costume from the online Disney store, to take advantage of Friday's one-day free-shipping offer; get both kids to their soccer games on time Saturday morning; make sure they put their soccer equipment away afterwards; make sure they get their baths Saturday night; get them to bed at a decent hour; avoid making the house a disaster area.
Thursday night before bed, I'd told Robert we were going to go out to eat most of the weekend, not because I didn't want to cook -- I do most of the cooking when I'm home -- but because I wanted us out of the house as much as possible so it didn't get wrecked: I knew it would make a big difference to her mood if she came home and couldn't find something wrong. I had big plans, much of which I was prepared to alter or jettison depending on kids' moods: soccer games Saturday morning, dinner out both Friday and Saturday, star party (I thought this was the week for it) Saturday night, Chabot Center in Oakland on Sunday. I suggested Fresh Choice for Friday dinner to Robert but allowed that I could be convinced to go somewhere else if all the kids agreed -- not having Mom around would be a bit hard, so I wanted them to get something a bit special. He whispered "Can we go to Fridays?" I said I'd check with Kate.
Sherilyn left for scrapbooking camp around 1. At 1:30 I strollered Josh and got Kate from the bus stop. I put Josh down for an early nap, then discussed dinner with Kate. I thought I asked her if Fridays would be okay and she said yes enthusiastically... but she would not recall this conversation the same way later. She mostly let me work for the rest of the afternoon.
Robert got home right after my phone meeting, and I gave him the news we'd go to Fridays. I worked a while more, then around 5 I told them to get ready to go to Fridays. Kate pitched a fit, insisting she only would go to Macaroni Grill. I had to hold to it: I'd promised Robert. She pouted, shrieked, stamped, cried, and muled... but having made the commitment I could stay firm. Finally I got her off the subject, discussing the Fridays balloons and the food she could choose. It ended okay. Robert helped, too -- once we'd reached the car (Kate still grumpy), he asked if we could go to Borders after dinner. I said we could if everyone behaved themselves. Kate, doing one of her 180-spin mood swings, announced "Borders! Yay!" and was suddenly all better, at least for a little while.
Dinner was okay, though everyone was in shorts and short sleeves and the restaurant was cold. This grumped Kate again and everyone complained. She didn't want anything from the menu, while Robert said he couldn't decide between grilled cheese and mac-and-cheese, so I ordered those two dishes for the two of them (Josh requested a plate of spaghetti, and then ate it and needed very little hosing down afterwards). Kate was a lot better once the food came, and eventually ate many fries, half the sandwich, and a few bites of the mac-and-cheese. We wound up with four balloons as we left for the car.
A woman and her son panhandled in the parking lot. I had nothing smaller than a $20 so I told her I didn't have anything I could give her. Felt bad about it afterwards; the kids had several questions about why she was panhandling, and I described my mixed feelings.
Went to Borders. Everyone was entitled to a book that I'd pay for, I announced. Josh immediately grabbed a Bob The Builder coloring+story book ("Bob the Builder! Bob the Builder! Yes we can!"), Robert showed why he really wanted to go by picking up two of the Pixie Tricks books he hadn't read and wheedling me into buying both, and Kate... well, she browsed a while, then discovered the stuffed animals. Remembering how disappointed she'd been earlier, I caved, and she got a small stuffed orange cat for an absurd price. Should have charged her from her allowance -- but she'd have agreed, and gotten much sulkier later.
Kids went to bed after many admonishments that we had twin soccer games in the morning. Robert in particular bungeed out of bed several times up till 11:00. We need to sit on him more. (I'm writing this on Tuesday, and the last two days I've been sitting upstairs while the kids settle, and Robert's gotten to sleep much earlier. I'm going to have to keep doing this.)
I basically did no housework but just pirated till, well, too late (around 1 AM). It's a lot harder to sleep in our bed when Sherilyn's not there.
Got them up, uniformed, and out the door. The Saturday games were going to be hard, since Robert had a 8:30 call for a 9-10 game on the west side of town, and Kate had a 9:40 call for a 10-11 game on the east side. Explained to Robert's assistant coach that I'd have to shuttle back and forth and I'd try to be back by the end of the game, but could he wait there with Robert if I'm not, and the coach said he lived in Granite Bay anyway, and could drop Robert off at Kate's game. I gladly accepted the offer, and explained the situation to Robert.
Evidently it rained Friday night sometime, because everything was wet, and it was still overcast all Saturday morning. I'd never been to this school before, and it was in a clearly less-nice part of town: rundown, long building sides with paint peeling, etc. Josh and Kate had fun on the school playground, though the equipment was obviously meant for 4th-6th graders: Kate climbed to the top, discovered the slide was too wet; the curved ladder too treacherous to climb down, only up; and the only other means to descend was a seven-foot pole; and started shouting for help. I held my hands above my head for her to step on so she could grab the pole, and spotted her as she slid down. (Then she wanted to do it again.)
Got Kate to her game. The previous game at that field that morning included a couple kids that were in her coed under-six team last year, and one of the moms recognized me (and was stunned by how big Josh was) but for the life of me I had no clue who she was, though her son was vaguely familiar. She'd been snack mom that week for her team, and Josh mooched a donut from her. Robert showed up at the field with his coach about 10:15.
Both kids lost their games, but neither took it particularly hard. Kate in particular gets a look of intense concentration when she plays, and soccer is doing her all kinds of good. Robert I'm still not sure is getting much out of it; little camaraderie, not much improvement in his play style, and too distracted by his own imagination to focus on what he's doing, much of the time.
Anyway. Given that it was still overcast, I suggested there probably wouldn't be a star party, and asked if they'd like to go to the Discovery Museum and planetarium for the early afternoon instead. Enthusiastic assent. Changed out of soccer uniforms, back in the car, McDonalds lunch, planetarium. The Museum has a nice display of animal and human bones, and other human innards, which would have been more compelling if we hadn't seen it on previous exhibit periods. They have some new animals, though, including a small owl. The tarantula was sitting up on top of her log, which really impressed Josh.
The planetarium show was a huge disappointment this time. The guy who normally runs it, for whatever reason, wasn't there (not today? or not ever? Need to find out) and the one who ran it was older, had a big tendency to ramble, didn't know how to operate the machine, and had eyesight problems (pointed out the north star once, then later couldn't find it). Lots of kids in the room made it quite noisy, and the program ran long due to his rambling. Didn't even bother to introduce myself to him afterwards.
Went home. It was sunny and clear by this point. Robert, though, said he didn't want to go to a star party. I told him that if it really was this weekend, he'd have to come with us, because I'd promised it to Josh (who's been asking almost daily when the next star party is -- he *really* likes them). I went and checked online after being surprised at the moon's phase on my palm (I thought it was nearly new, but it was actually only a little past last quarter), and sure enough the star party was the 16th, not that day. I told him we were off the hook.
Got home, napped Josh, did dishes and put away some laundry. Then it was time for more dinner shenanigans. Robert wanted to help pick this place. I told him that since I'd made the mistake on Friday and Kate hadn't gotten to help choose, she'd choose this one herself. Not fair to Robert, I know, but I had made a mistake and had to repair it, and I apologized to Robert for it. Mostly Robert was tired, I think -- he was just being recalcitrant. I'm glad there wasn't a star party; he needed the break.
Kate got to choose, but I privately encouraged her to pick Fresh Choice, since Robert was dead set against Macaroni Grill (even though he'd been told he didn't get to help pick this time). Fresh Choice didn't go too well, at least at the beginning: Robert got out of the car but wouldn't cross the parking lot until I threatened his Legos; then he tried to leave the restaurant moments after walking in and I had to do one of those things you always watch other people do and think "bad parent": I took his head a bit roughly in my hands and whispered fiercely about dire consequences. He whimpered a little but acquiesced. He took nothing from the salad bar, but accepted a bowl of clam chowder and a couple muffins -- I was at this point choosing my battles and not going to make a big deal over what he ate.
Everyone got in a better mood from eating their food, but they all whined in disappointment about not being allowed another trip to Borders (Robert had finished both his Pixie Tricks books already and wanted more). They had to go home for baths.
I also told them we probably weren't going to Chabot. There wasn't much reaction -- this was pretty clearly the right decision; everyone was tired.
Three baths later, they were in bed. All three zonked before 8:30. I did more dishes, cleaned some of the kitchen, and watched an episode of Buffy from DVD, then accidentally found myself pillaging for an hour and a half (a very fun time). Finally went to bed at 1 (again). Wasn't any easier to sleep without Sherilyn there.
Sunday I let them sleep in as long as they wanted -- which wasn't long -- and made pancakes for breakfast. Did dishes and cleaned some more. Then we just hung out and vegged, mostly just foraging for lunch, till Sherilyn got home in the evening. She was happy and tired after her scrapbookathon, but a bit disappointed that she hadn't brought more pictures since she'd finished everything she'd brought to do.
It must have been a fun trip. It didn't even ruin her mood for very long that I forgot to order Kate's outfit on Friday.
